Thursday, 7 October 2010


Colossal she’d called him.

He could handle lard ass, chubster, even blubber boy, but colossal was going one step beyond.

That step took him from pleasant obedient Alfie - lap poodle, to resentful vicious Alfonso - Rottweiler.

In his head of course, it was always only in his head. The things he’d pictured doing to her when he was Alfonso couldn’t be voiced - he’d be carted off to the secure unit.

Part of him secretly longed for that though. The padded cell, the protection of the straight jacket – she couldn’t get to him there, wound him with her throw away lacerations.

From the plush carpet he picked discarded clothing and dirty underwear, relishing their silky feel on his skin before depositing them in the laundry.

“For God’s sake blubber boy; you’re such a disgusting excuse for a human being!” she shouted from the bathroom.

“What do you mean?” he asked, already realising she’d seen him lingering over her knickers through the mirror.

“You know what I mean. Mind you that’s as close as you’ll ever get to a woman intimately, you being the size of a row of houses an all.”

“I’m not that fat Cassandra!”

“Wanna bet? If you got on top of a girl she’d feel like she’d been crushed by avalanche! Now book me that taxi I’ve to be at the studio in an hour, and make sure my liposuction’s sorted for tomorrow.”

Liposuction ... she looked like a stick insect already.
Nevertheless she was his stick insect and he worshipped her. He’d been her personal slave for the last five years, tending to her every need and whim.

Alfie loved that she needed him. That would have to be enough. He put up with her cruelty just to be near her.

She breezed in “Move aside… God, you really are colossal these days!”

Colossal again. Alfonso strained at the leash, his lips peeled back revealing razor sharp teeth.

“Come on move it lard ass or I’ll have to think of replacing you …”

Replacing him? Never! The leash snapped releasing the Rottweiler.

Suddenly she was under him.

Her eyes popped in horror as his massive weight crushed the breath from her.
Fat fingers pinched her nose and covered her mouth, her pitiful kicks made no impression on his bulk.

She lay still.

Suddenly the Rottweiler morphed to poodle.




The silence was overwhelming, massive... colossal.


  1. see on the one hand, we have these adorable pictures of fluffy cats just to the left of this panel and then you go and present us this deliciously nasty little tale...

    I loved this in every juicy detail.

    marc nash

  2. Crush in haste, regret at leisure. Bravo! Really enjoyed your story, and I adore the cat photos.

  3. Thanks Marc and Sam, glad you liked it, and my cats! :))

  4. Ah, as the ghost in Hamlet said, " Murder most foul, as in the best it is,
    But this most foul, strange, and unnatural."

    Really liked your story, and last line is perfect. :)

  5. One can only take so much, then they the leash. Was that a metaphorical leash? Last line was killer!

  6. Hi Shannon, Thanks, and yes it was a metaphorical one :)

  7. I like it, a light hearted view into the world of sado-masochism, and it's consequences. Looks like he may get his padded cell after all. :)

  8. Naughty Alfie, nasty Cassandra! Loved this wicked little story of Alfie's final straw.

    Pretty cats too - Bella looks like a furrier version of my cat.

    J x

  9. Love this - what a fab piece. Nice work, poor guy, she kind of deserved it

  10. You did a wonderful job of depicting the relationship between these two. Nice tension build up and great ending!-Tiffany

  11. Great work with this. I always wonder what makes a person snap...

  12. Excellent job with this!

    And I don't know marc, I think Bella looks like she has a hidden Rottweiler insider her.

  13. She is such a loathsome creature that the ending feels like a good result. Fantastic final line.