Burglar Phil

Burglar Phil of Windmill Hill
had always hated the dark,
He'd spend his days pretending crime pays,
while walking his dog in the park.


When night fell,
Phil groaned “Oh hell, it's time for my burgling again”.
He dressed in his gear, finished his beer,
and headed out into the rain.


He nicked CDs and tellys,
and an old pair of wellies
which he could wear on his walks in the park.
Candlesticks, rings, all manner of things,
but still he hated the dark.


One evening at ten Phil said,
“Never again will I work as a thief in the night”.
He shouted with glee,
“I'll find a new me!”,
which gave his dog, 'Swag-Bag' a fright.


Next morning at dawn,
Burglar Phil gave a yawn,
and leapt out of bed with a bound.
“Swag - Bag, Swag-Bag!”,
he bellowed, “SWAG -BAG!”
now where was his long faithful hound?


The dog soon appeared,
thinking Phil weird, and carrying his lead in his mouth.
They then soon departed, companions, light hearted,
leaving Phil’s gate, heading south.


Phil's only desire, to stop playing with fire,
quickened his pace to a trot.
He needed to work at a desk like a clerk,
as he hated the dark such a lot.

Phil spied the Job Shop,
but he thought he should stop
at his friend’s for some tea and a chat.
He knocked on the door,
friend Molly said, “Cor! Where’d you get that
marvellous hat?”

Phil told her the tale of a hat pattern sale
which had started his long-standing hobby,
Molly looked pleased, “You look handsome.” she teased,
as she hung up his coat in her lobby.

Molly's kitchen was bright, done in yellow and white,
and her ginger cat sat on the sill.
Another woman was there, with long flaxen hair,
and Molly said, “Now Phil, meet Jill”.

Jill, pretty and tall worked on a stall
in the market each week-day nearby.
Phil took off his hat, then stroked Molly’s cat
and stuttered as he was SO shy.

Phil thought Jill was nice,
Swag-Bag broke the ice
as he barked at the cat on Phil's lap.
Molly picked up her pet,
Phil said with regret,
“I think it is time for Swag’s nap.”

“Nonsense.” said Molly who was always so jolly,
“You must stay and get to know Jill”.
Jill blushed red, poured the tea out and said,
“I could sell those hats you make Phil.”

Phil's heart gave a flutter as he passed the butter
to Molly to spread on Jill's bread.
He felt no misgiving, he could now make a living
from making nice things for the head!

Now two years have passed,
Phil's new love did last,
he and Jill have a house near the park.
Jill sells Phil’s hats,
Swag-Bag still hates cats,
and Phil NEVER goes out in the dark.