Friday 26 November 2010

Not The Man I Married

Inspector O’Keefe drove out of his street and into the gridlocked traffic. He looked at his watch. 7:50 He should be at his desk by now...he would have been but for his wife.

He drummed his fingers on the wheel and though about her. Emma’s pasty face swam across his consciousness and then bobbed on a gentle swell like a great fat Flounder.
He’d grown to hate that face, to despise every wrinkle, every pore, every...
Red... amber... green ...green...GREEN!!!

A cacophony of car horns blasted her face out of the water triggering O’Keefe into action. He raised a hand in a half-hearted gesture of apology to the car behind and accelerated through the lights.
He rolled his eyes and cursed Emma. She was still causing trouble even though she was at home in the kitchen sitting on her huge fat behind.

She had a degree in sitting on her arse, a Masters in stuffing her face with crap, and a PhD in moaning.

The moaning recently consisted of her saying that he’d become a different man since he’d joined homicide, that he had no time for her, was obsessed with the job, and his favourite – had become psychologically damaged by his daily immersion in murder. Stupid melodramatic cow!

O’Keefe chuckled with cold humour and pulled into his parking space. Well at least when he got home tonight the hole in her face would be silent...but definitely larger than normal.

The twelve bore had seen to that.

17 comments:

  1. Wicked are you!

    Another nice twist.

    Nxxx

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  2. 'She had a degree in sitting on her arse, a Masters in stuffing her face with crap, and a PhD in moaning.'
    You've described me. :-/
    Otherwise, a great story!

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  3. Oh, that wife certainly was unappealing.

    Ah that twisty! Brought a smile, though it's not a laughing matter. :)

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  4. Oh, I love that twist. My only problem is with the wife's name...

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  5. Thanks everyone! And sorry Emma - it is a lovely name :)

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  6. Poor woman :( We're always in the most trouble when we're right.

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  7. Loved every bitter, gruesome bit of it!

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  8. Grim and gruesome! Great twist at the end.

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  9. Can he arrest himself for this heinous (love this word) crime?
    He didn't like her very much, did he?
    Love the shocking revelation at the end. It's so matter of fact it stopped me dead. (a bit like the wife)

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  10. My kind of story this one Mandy, short, humourous, and deliciously wicked. :)

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  11. Fabulous! Quick and wicked with a wonderful twist. Bravo!

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  12. Thanks to all for the great comments - much appreciated :)

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  13. Brilliant - I was smilng to myself when you described her degree in sitting on her arse and masters, etc. Genius - great work

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  14. Love this one Mandy, she sounded quite unappealing but the twist still had a great impact.

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  15. Ooooh you're nasty, you are. He'll have a mess to clean up then, and a murder to mask. Interesting intro to an even more interesting tale.

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  16. Another wicked, little tale. Loved it!

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