Mandy's Musings

Mandy's Musings

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Destiny

Suspended in the heavens by black velvet thread, a night like any other heaved a sigh and shed tears of despair.

It was time.

Wood- smoke escaping the campfire snaked around trees as gentle rain caressed two figures silhouetted against the flames.

“Dance with me again,” she pressed play and moved her body seductively against his.
“No you must go now. The old tales are true ...I can feel the change in me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, how could they be?” she smiled up at him.

His eyes glowed yellow, and his lips peeled back revealing dangerous canines.

She stopped smiling.

12 comments:

  1. Oooh so creepy!!!

    My favourite line of all is the very first one. It's almost a micro flash in itself!

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  2. I always believe people when they say they are werewolves. Even if they're not, it's an excuse to leave. And if they are, it's an excuse not to become puppy chow.

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  3. Thanks Rebecca :)

    That's very true John - very true!!

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  4. I really like that last line. Time to start running lady!

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  5. sent delicious shivers down my spine.....

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  6. Typical! She finally finds a man who can dance and he turns out to be a werewolf...

    I love "suspended in the heavens by black velvet thread" - wonderful image.

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  7. Great tease. I love when the seductive meets the deadly!

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  8. I love the poetic flow. I would cut out her pressing play, though. There is so much focus on nature, and that is the only non-organic thing mentioned. "She stopped smiling" is a great ending line :)

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  9. Thanks for all your great comments! Yes Michelle I agree with you on that one. I was debating whether to cut it - think I will later :)

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  10. Great story and loved the opening sentence. I feel all spine-tingly now.

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  11. I agree, great opening line. One i'd be proud of.

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